If I Get There
by the writer formerlyknown as lm
Summary: I'm making it up, right? Sirius...I mean...it's not...it's not me, is it? [Remus figures out Sirius has a crush on him.] [MWPP]


I was asked by many to do a sequel to 'Waiting a Long Time,' and I did one, and it came out shitty (for lack of desire to think of a more eloquent adjective). I put off rewriting it because I really rather liked my first piece and wanted to do it justice. I posted the two original sequels on my livejournal, and people thought they were unrealistic, and apparently people have a disdain for the nicknames 'Sear' and 'Jamie.' Well, the whole Harry Potter universe is unrealistic, and I happen to think the nicknames are darn cute! But, to spare you all from reading the horrible original second I had planned, here's a better one (I hope).

Special thanks to my beta, **Vaughn**, to who I owe a billion dirty favors in exchange for her wonderful work.

And I also hope that you're intelligent enough to figure this out without having read 'Waiting a Long Time,' so feel free to read this first, and go back and read the other one if you want. Or read the first one first if you suffer from OCD and must do that sort of thing.

On to the kind-of-sequel!

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**Part Two: If I Get There **

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James Potter knew that he was a good friend. He had all the essential qualities that a good friend must possess: He would always back you up in an argument, even if you were wrong; he would take the blame for you, even if it meant evoking McGonagall's wrath (if you were Remus and/or Peter, that is; Sirius could handle himself); and, he would keep the secret of your true sexual orientation (and that one really was limited to only Sirius, but he was sure that he would feel that way if Remus or Peter came out to him).

James didn't really know if things would change when school began. Sometimes, he felt like that night Sirius told him that he preferred blokes had never really happened. Sirius never brought it up again. Not the morning after, when he poked James in the foot and told him that his mum had said breakfast was ready. Not when they got on the Hogwarts Express. Not when they unpacked their stuff for the new year.

Not when he said he would be going with Elizabeth Becker to Hogsmeade. 

Maybe James had imagined it all. Maybe he was going insane; he would've believed that, surely, if Sirius still hadn't been a little off. And he knew he wasn't imagining it; Remus and Peter brought it up, too. When Sirius left the room once, Remus asked in a worried yet calm whisper, "Something happened over the summer, didn't it?"

James almost lost it.

_Yes!_ he wanted to scream. _Sirius confessed that he's gay...and that's he probably in love with you! _

Not that Sirius had ever admitted that Moony was the bloke he thought he'd fallen in love with. James had spoken his revelation aloud, with no response coming from Sirius's cot. But once, in History of Magic, Sirius was staring. At Remus. Who was taking notes.

James caught Sirius's eye. They stared at each other for an eternity before Sirius shrugged and went back to taking his notes (or whatever he was occupying his time with in History). James knew what would happen if Sirius came out. James knew it wasn't normal, and a lot of people would hold it against him. James knew he was one of the few people in the universe who could ever understand, who wouldn't judge him.

But that didn't stop him from approaching him one day in the dorm bathroom, while Remus stayed and helped Peter with his homework in the common room.

"What are you doing, Sirius?"

"Brushing my teeth?" Sirius asked, pausing in mid-action, spitting out toothpaste.

"No, you're lusting after Moony." That came out a bit harsher than James had originally intended, and he flinched at his own words. Sirius seemed unfazed.

"Hardly 'lusting.'" He turned back to the sink and turned on the faucet, running the glossy water over his toothbrush. He finished, gave a satisfied grunt, and put his toothbrush back into the holder. He walked past James and into the bedroom.

"So you're not denying what you told me this summer, then? That you're a poofter wanting to fuck a good mate of ours?" Once again, James realized he was more ruffled than he'd originally thought.

"Hardly." Sirius got into bed and smiled. "But I'm also not a lovesick puppy like you are over Lily. Sorry if I don't display my emotions as flagrantly as you."

"Flagrant? I'm not fucking flagrant!"

"Yes, you are!" Sirius looked shocked. "You're so obvious, you're so blatant. No wonder Evans is disgusted with you; I'd be too."

"You know, you can at least tell Remus that you're gay, though." James decidedly changed the conversation. They'd get nowhere and accomplish none of what he'd set out to do if they kept arguing over Evans. "He's really worried about you."

"I'd bet a million Galleons Remus already knows. He's dead observant about that kind of stuff." Sirius turned onto his side like he wanted to go to sleep. James couldn't deny that, but still frowned.

"So you think he knows you fancy him, then?"

"Oh no. Remus has chosen to remain blissfully oblivious to that particular fact. He knows on some level, but...Remus is straight." 

Sirius's voice had taken that tone that it had had over the summer, when he'd sounded all upset about being queer.

"I'm sorry about that." James tried to sound sincere. "But if it's any consolation, there's probably more of a chance of you getting Remus than me getting Lily." James sat down on his bed, deflated.

"Oh, I'm sure of it." Sirius chuckled. "Thanks, James," he added.

"What for?" 

"For keeping it a secret, I guess."

Later that night, James awoke.

Sirius was talking to Remus on his bed. He could see their shadows. The curtain was pulled, but one of their wands was lit.

"I'm a wreck." 

Sirius's voice.

"I'm...I'm...I don't really know how to say this..."

"I know, Sirius. It's okay. I don't care..."

"I know you know, Remus, but fuck it! Just let me fucking talk for a second."

"Sorry." 

James wondered why the boys hadn't performed a Silencing Charm, but it occurred to him that he was really happy that they didn't.

"James already knows, and I know you know. Peter will be cool with it if James is...I don't know about Frank...Maybe he doesn't need to know."

"Probably not."

"I just need to say it out loud, to get it out of my system." 

"Then say it. I'm not stopping you."

"But it's so weird. It's such a weird thing to say. You know? Like admitting it."

"Perfectly understandable." 

"Do you know some Muggles have killed people for being...for, um...differences?"

"Yes, I did know that. How did you?"

"Oh, you know," James could practically see Sirius waving his hand and smiled to himself, "a little of this, a little of that." Sirius stopped the facade. "I've been doing research."

"Like when you found out I was a werewolf, then?"

There was a humorous overtone to Remus's voice, but James knew that he said that to remind Sirius that everyone had their baggage.

"I'm a pansy, Remus."

Remus laughed.

"I like your choice of words."

"I'm practically a girl." Sirius was laughing. "I might as well admit it. You know, I overheard some girls in the common room, birds that talk about how handsome I am, Remus! They were saying that that seventh year Ravenclaw Josten Price was handsome and I damn near voiced my agreement with them!"

"You should've. Maybe then they'd stop talking about you."

"Maybe." Sirius laughed again.

"How'd James react?" Remus asked, and James's ears perked up.

"He laughed about it. Didn't believe me at first. Then I told him about...about last year."

James suspected that Sirius almost said something to the effect of, 'about my crush,' but stopped himself.

If Remus suspected the same thing, he didn't voice it. "I'm glad you finally told me, Sirius. I was wondering when you would. I won't pretend it didn't freak me out at first. Every time you looked at me, I secretly wondered if you were like, looking at me-" James gulped for Sirius, "but then I told myself to grow up, and I did. You're my friend, and I won't abandon you. I won't judge you. Do what you will. I love you anyway."

"That means the world to me, Remus. I love you, too."

James screwed his eyes shut and felt very awful for intruding on such an intimate moment. He heard Sirius scuffle off to bed, and through the corner of his eye, he saw Remus's wand turn off.

A few moments of silence followed, and then someone turned up in his bed. 

"James?" It was Remus.

"Remus!" James screamed-whispered. "What the hell are you doing?" 

"I know you heard me and Sirius, James."

James tried to not look guilty, but failed.

"I have to speak to you. Please, just tell me I'm crazy and imagining things. Please." Remus's voice was pleading.

"What?" James looked at Sirius's bed.

"He's out, I checked. Peter and Frank, too," Remus assured James. "Just tell me. I'm making it up, right? Sirius...I mean...it's not...it's not me, is it?"

James closed his eyes.

"Oh, God." Remus slipped out of the bed. "I...No. It can't be. You must be mistaken." But before James could say anything else, Remus had gone back to his own bed. James sighed and thought about Remus's confused voice.

"Who knows?" he muttered to the ceiling. "Maybe there is more of a chance that Lily would go out with me than of Remus hooking up with Sirius."

---

Part one is _Waiting a Long Time_

Part three is _So Much Closer_

Part four is _Ready or Not_


End file.
